Thursday, September 7, 2017

Miracles Abound...

On Christmas morning in 2016, I decided to take one last pregnancy test just to be sure. I knew something was a bit off, but after nine negative pregnancy tests in a row, I wasn't expecting number ten to reveal anything different. The thought process was more like "well, I have one more unused pregnancy test just burning a hole in the bottom of the bathroom cabinet, why not just use it up?"

Surprise! We're pregnant!

Danny and I were not as thrilled as one can imagine. We both had so many plans that revolved around having big kids now, those whom were not really requiring a mega amount of care-giving.
Our attitude was that which can be quoted: "If God wills, then it is what it is, and may it be done".

Weeks went by, and the desire for a brand new baby developed pretty quickly and intensely in both of our hearts.

Fast forward...

On April 10 2017 we received the news that our baby (19 weeks in utero) had a severe birth defect that would make him unable to live outside the womb.

Our world changed forever.
Nothing we look at looks the same, and maybe it never will.

At the time of the diagnoses we were told that our baby would have a zero percent chance of survival after birth and as well, a very small percentage of making it to full-term.

Back to December 2016: I saw the doctor for my first pre-natal visit, and I was sent home with a bag-full of baby goodies and a due date. My baby was going to be due on September 7, 2017.

Here we are! Today is Noah's due date. He made it! He is kicking my sides and ribs as I type.

Happy due date Noah :)

If there is anything I've learned from this whole experience, it's that God is still in the miracle making business. Miracles are not something that just happened in ancient biblical stories, there are miracles abound.

Miracles are happening around me at such a significant rate, that I'm completely and utterly blown away. Let me tell you from someone who has received so many miracles; you never get used to magnitude of impact that a miracle creates in your life. As a matter of fact, each miracle gets more intensified, and each one baffles you as much or more than the last.

Most of you know the story, we're just waiting.

Noah is not ready to come. Is God up to something? Probably.

Everyday and every night we still pray for a miracle for baby Noah. We don't specify what kind of miracle we're looking for because God knows our hearts. He knows our desires, and above all, we trust Him. He knows what miracles we need.

I haven't been good about returning messages or giving updates on the situation lately, and I'm sorry. I have been in a weird place. First of all, I've been kind of stewing in negative emotions lately, and I haven't had the desire to write about it.

Miraculously, for the first time in my whole pregnancy, I physically feel decent. Yeah, I have my daily conclusive "I'm done with this nonsense". But for the most part I really don't feel as terrible as I did before we tried to induce labor, however many weeks ago. I don't feel as fragile, and it's an immense relief and a gigantic blessing. God is good!

Looks like we're going to go to 42 weeks before inducing again, unless Noah comes before.

I cannot stress enough how much the prayers, and messages, and good thoughts, and all the love sent our way has kept us going.

I feel like this is not just us going through this situation alone, I feel like you are all honestly and sincerely going through this with us, and it makes me feel so grateful.

I love you all sincerely.

God bless you and all of yours.

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