You know when you think about something many, many times, but then, that one time you understand it more than ever! Heck, you understand everything about everything, for that split second!
...happened to me this morning. If I don't hurry I'll lose it all, but here goes:
I am a very sensitive person period! I've tried over and over to grow thicker skin, but it doesn't grow on me. It's like trying to cultivate apples in the dessert (or something extreme like that, please don't message me and tell me you grew an apple tree in the dessert).
The past week I've been bitter, not friendly, and I fit in so well...I realized that I can either conform to this unfriendly, unloving, ungrateful society, or I can...not!
I seem to get more respect when I'm frank and unemotional. If I keep this up I could really finish this whole game in the lead. Take my winning to my grave like King Tut.
There is a gentlemen I used to work with who we call Mtn. Man Dan (You know who you are) who inspired me with a post he made a week or so ago. I may not have gotten his exact point, but I did get this. I'm tired of phoniness. I'm tired of feeling like I have to be that person who wins the race. I don't want to conform to this world, this society, this game. No, I'd rather be with the losers, the ones who come in last. The ones who knew that they never had a chance of winning, but came out anyway, worked hard anyway, and finished anyway! Can you imagine running along side someone who finishes last! Seeing the emotion, the joy, the love, the faith, the "impossible". That's where I want to be. I want to be real. I want to be genuine. I want to be happy, and joyful, and kind, and loving, and living the impossible. We've always been taught the opposite, so I may only make sense to myself right now, but it's the way I feel.
So, I think that's where I'll be, I'll be the nice "guy" who finishes last. If you want to find me, I'll be over here, enjoying what I call wealth, the fruits of the spirit~ JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GENTLENESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, SELF CONTROL...
and above all
May God Bless you all, wherever you are and want to be...